Exam-pocalypse Now

👀Ever heard of UPSC, NEET, or JEE? Or better yet..have you ever tried escaping a dinner table conversation without someone proudly announcing their cousin’s neighbour’s son cracked it on the first attempt👼 with one eye closed and three pens? Or been subtly told by a family member, “Beta, bas ek baar clear kar lo, phir zindagi set hai”? As if we are all broken IKEA furniture just waiting to be ‘set.’👎

Ever been spiritually assaulted by those coaching ads where everyone looks like they just discovered the meaning of life after solving a math problem?📈 Or locked yourself in a room with ten coaching books, three highlighters, and a bucket full of panic because society said this is the only way to prove your worth?✊

Been there. Did that. I myself wrote these exams, failed spectacularly in some, cried over marks, questioned my worth..but here 💃I am, thriving in my own chaotic little way, still trying to survive without turning into a sob story stage.💭💥

💆This post isn’t a therapy session disguised as a blog or glorifying failure or demonizing success, it's about unmasking the absurd pedestal we have put national entrance exams on. Because let’s face it..we have all been there. Questioning our brain cells, dodging WhatsApp relatives, and dealing with a society that thinks success comes from isolation and inhaling oxygen only after AIR 1.😯

👉The Great Insecurity Scam

From the moment we learn how to spell our own names, we are told these exams are the ultimate test of our existence. Whether it's NEET, JEE, or UPSC apparently, nothing else validates our intelligence. And suddenly, the world around us becomes a live version of Shark Tank, except everyone is pitching unsolicited advice.😬

So what do we do? We isolate like we are prepping for a zombie apocalypse. Eat, study, cry, repeat. Because how dare we have hobbies or personalities when our future is at stake?👾

🏁But here is the twisted irony: when we finally escape the academic dungeon, we can’t hold conversations. We flinch at eye contact. We don’t know how to talk about anything other than marks, and we realize we trained ourselves to solve OMR sheets, not actual life. We were told to shut the world out, and now we don’t know how to live in it.👊

👉Marks: The New Zodiac Sign

Let’s be honest: these exams aren’t just tough..they are emotionally savage. You start equating your intelligence with your scores, your self-worth with your rank, and your future with one result. Suddenly, your life is brought to you by Anxiety & Co.😖

You begin to believe you are not good enough. Maybe everyone else is smarter, faster, better prepared. Imposter syndrome becomes your emotional roommate. You stop learning for joy and start surviving for validation.💫

🙇🙋And yes, I felt that too. Still do, sometimes. Its hard not to,when the world treats failure like a character flaw..Because apparently, if you fail at an exam, you are not just wrong..you are broken. But spoiler alert:- you are not.💪

👉Psychological Jab at This Exam Stress

 👀Coaching Centres Before Puberty = Emotional Malnutrition

If you joined coaching before your body even figured out what hormones are, congrats..you probably skipped not just school fun but also basic personality development.🌈

👐When you stop hanging out with real people and start bonding with syllabus PDFs, its not “being ahead of your peers.” It’s early-onset social starvation. Later in life, when someone flirts with you and you reply with NEET cutoffs, don’t blame destiny. Blame your biology teacher.👵

👀 Your Rank Is Not Your Blood Group. Stop Acting Like It Is.

Treating your rank like it’s your life support? Classic case of obsessive identity disorder (okay, not a real DSM term, but let’s roll with it).

You start thinking:

👽 “No AIR, no future.”

“If I am not in top 100, I am basically a waste of carbon.”

Sweetheart, your self-worth isn’t a rank list. You are not a Wi-Fi signal. It’s okay if you are not at full bars all the time.🙇

👀Emotional Repression Olympics

Cramming 18 chapters a day but can’t express how you feel? Welcome to emotion suppression 101.

You have been told:

“Crying is weakness.”😕

“Laughing is distraction.”💀

“Taking breaks is for failures.”😢

Enter: Alexithymia...the inability to identify or express emotions. Most aspirants walk around emotionally constipated, unable to vent, laugh, or just feel something beyond syllabus-related guilt. And then we wonder why we are all emotionally burnt out by 19?

Let your emotions exist. Cry over an episode of Modern Family. It’s still healthier than blacking out over your 58th failed mock test.

👀 Identity Crisis Dressed as Discipline

Ever heard of identity foreclosure? It’s when you commit to a life path before exploring other possibilities. Like when your whole personality becomes “future doctor” or "next IAS"..when you have never:

💃Danced badly at school functions

💑Flirted without guilt

💫Written a poem that sucked and laughed at it

Instead, you became a walking syllabus with a name. But life needs spice, not just bullet points. Explore more before you declare who you are. Your life isn't a fixed deposit..it can and should evolve.👑

👀 You’re Not Lazy, You’re Burnt Out. There’s a Difference.

Feeling tired even after doing nothing? That’s not “procrastination,” babe. That’s chronic burnout.

Your brain has been running a marathon in the name of discipline. No sleep, no joy, no dopamine. You are not lazy..you are dopamine-deprived.👈

It's not a productivity issue. It’s your brain waving a white flag with, “Boss, I need one nap, one hug, and a cupcake.”🎂

👀Sleep Disorders, Panic Cycles & Dopamine Starvation

or as I call it: “The Starter Pack of Every Competitive Exam Zombie”👻

So you are pulling all-nighters fuelled by Red Bull, two hours of guilt, and one dream of an IIT tag? Babe, that’s not discipline..it’s circadian rhythm disruption served with a side of dopamine dysregulation.

Your body starts glitching, your brain files for early retirement, and suddenly “I can’t do this” becomes your background music. You tell yourself, just one quick scroll on Instagram and next thing you know, you are in a digital blackhole comparing your Chapter 5 stress to someone’s Bali vacation post with “#manifestingpeace.”🙊

That, my dear overachiever, is digital dissociation. But don’t worry, your syllabus doesn’t cover it..so society pretends it’s not real.😐

And panic cycles? Oh, those are fun. You mess up one test, and your brain hosts a TED Talk at 2 a.m. titled: “How I’ll Ruin My Entire Life Because I Forgot a Formula.”

Final Words From Your Inner Psychologist:💁

No exam rank is worth chronic fatigue, mental fog, or the fact that you don’t recognize yourself in the mirror anymore.Your neurons aren’t machines. They need sleep, serotonin, and a damn break. So shut the books, breathe, and for once..let your brain exist without a to-do list.

And for god’s sake, remember you are a human first, aspirant second.

👉Flip the Script: Thrive, Don’t Just Survive

These exams are part of the system, not the syllabus of your soul. Stop giving them the God-tier status of defining your identity. Whether you crack them or not, you are still allowed to dream, grow, and glow (with or without sunscreen).

Let’s change the narrative--from marksheets to memoirs, from shame to stories.

Sanity Hacks for the Exam-Haunted

1. Burn the Pedestal, Not Your Brain💥

These exams are tests, not a spiritual evaluation. They won’t tell you if you are kind, creative, or capable of starting a startup that sells anxiety-themed merch. Stop praying at the altar of ranks.

2. Interact, Don’t Hibernate💤

Locking yourself up might boost your syllabus completion, but it kills your social immunity. Life isn't just about tests..it's about texting too.Roger Federer didn’t isolate himself into greatness..he dabbled in other sports before tennis. Arnold Schwarzenegger: from lifting weights to lifting votes as Governor. Lisa Kudrow was a biology nerd before becoming Phoebe Buffay.

Want desi spice? Look at Ritesh Agarwal (OYO) who started young, failed a few times, and built an empire by talking to actual people and not just PDFs. Kiran Mazumdar-Shaw trained to be a brewmaster but ended up founding Biocon. Even Varun Agarwal went from engineering pressure to authoring “How I Braved Anu Aunty and Co-Founded a Million Dollar Company.” They didn’t isolate..they innovated through interaction.

3. Build Your Backstory, Not Just Your Bio Data😎

Stop narrating your life like an attendance sheet. “Woke up. Studied. Slept.” No. Talk about the weird poem you wrote. The time you questioned capitalism over chai. Your story..“I didn’t crack it, but I became this”--will always slap harder than AIR 1.

4. Learn Beyond the Syllabus💬

Take a break from memorizing the Constitution and try learning how to set boundaries. Learn to say “No.” Learn to budget. Learn to walk into a room without crumbling into a ball of nerves. Life won’t ask you the difference between mitosis and meiosis..but it will test your ability to send one good email.

5. Surround Yourself with Sanity (and Me)💃

If your group chat gives you ulcers, ditch it. Find your tribe...the weird, the woke, the wonderfully unbothered. And yes, add me. I talk about everything: from “how’s your poop today?” to reviews on The Royals (Ishaan Khatter supremacy, forever). I will overthink with you, decode toxic patterns, rate your pani puri vendor, and write existential poetry over Maggi. We are not meant to do this alone.

6. Let Chaos Sit at the Table🙆

Some days, you will nail it. Some days, you will cry over a spilled milk. Allow both. Life isn’t a graph..it’s a zigzag doodle drawn by a stressed artist. Embrace the squiggles.

7. Life First. Labels Later.👌

Hug your dog. Make terrible Maggi. Paint something ugly. Text a friend. Walk barefoot. Hug your sibling..like I do with my sister, who listens to all my love drama like it’s a Netflix original, gives better advice than any therapist, and still tolerates my 3AM rants. Life happens in between questions..and those bits? They are worth everything.

Life doesn’t care about what’s printed on your admit card..it cares how you feel when you are with yourself.

👉Dear Rank-Obsessed World: We’re Not Furniture to Be “Set”

If I can fail, cry, fall, and still wake up to write this..so can all of us. Let’s stop acting like our whole personality is tied to a six-digit score.

These exams can check how well we memorize..but they can’t measure how hard we fought to stay sane, how much we dream, or how deeply we care.

So own your mess. Flaunt your learning curves. Be the main character in your chaos.

Because we are not marksheets. We are manuscripts. Still messy, still in draft..but definitely not done.

And this?? This is just a chapter, not the conclusion.💫

- Written with caffeine and a mild existential crisis by Sameeksha..still broke, a little bruised, but burning bright with Mandate and Muse.